2011

Everyone are satisfied with their 2011. Why can't I say the same for my 2011??:( But, THANKS though. 2011, you were still good to me. I learned a lot from you.

2012 Bucket List

I'll make it possible.

1. Experience SAGADA.

2. Make a table calendar for 2013 with my shots as its pictures.

3. Flirt back to a guy I like, who also flirts with me.

4. Quit BFS.

5. Tell to this guy that I LIKE HIM and then walk away.

6. Give my cellphone no. to a cute stranger. (I don't care if he'll respond)

7. Lose 10lbs.

8. Get another 2 turtles.

9. Set up a Terrarium for my turtles.

New Year's Resolutions

I'll run it down.

1. Will find time for exercise.

2. Take proper and balanced diet seriously.

3. No matter how hard, I'll act like a LADY and fix myself from time to time.

4. Will wear make up this year.

6. Save money for International Travels and Education.

7. Dance regularly. Dancing in my room may do :)

8. Minimum usage of my Credit card.

Game! 2012, let's do all these.

3 titles of movies

I always have the motivation and words when it comes to stating my wishes, and frustrations. This year's experiences are all relevant to me. Career wise. It is because was able to conquer a mad manager, surpass adjustments and the promotion to a higher position.

My 3 Movie titles for 2011:

The Mad Manager

I am now free from this type of manager who always sees my mistakes and is over compulsive. Finally! Being free from her is the best experience from this year :) haha

The HR Specialist

From Administrative Assistant turned to HR Specialist for Recruitment and Training. I still have a lot to learn though.

The Adjustment Bureau

A year full of adjustments made my year stressful, exciting and fun. Though problems are always and forever present, I am still happy I'm still standing. People will bring me down, but I will not let them succeed. They can only be disappointed with me forever.

I have a lot of joys and sorrows for 2011 and I'll keep moving. 2012, bring it on.

R.I.P. MY DEAR ROLIE

01.28.2011

The day I discovered that one of my turtles died. :(

She was a good turtle.

She'll be missed. Like I do now. :(

THE BIG SISTER

Office Bullies.

That is what my co-office mate describes these people who always think they are better than the rest. And I would have to agree that this is the perfect description for these kind of people. Anyway, I know one from our office. We would like to name her, the BIG SISTER. She's just like the Big Brother in a reality TV Show. But only because she notices even your smallest gesture and is a dramatic boss. She is the boss and/or manager of one of my friends in the office. Let's call my friend Leslie.

Leslie is just young and learning. She is very much willing to work overtime and willing to do anything for the sake of learning and experience. She became friends with the Big Sister, it's not like it's hard for her not to be friends with anyone. She just likes to meet new people and enjoy the company of anyone as long as he or she is nice. And since the Big Sister is Leslie's boss, it was easy for her to make friends with her. It was really a roller coaster ride for Leslie because The Big Sister has mood swings that no one can predict, even her. Even if the Big Sister is mad, Leslie can manage to work with her even under the pressure if Big Sister's moods.

Everything were well, more than 8 months they have been working and they can work just fine. But it was a month (birth month of Big Sister) when everything just changed. and I mean everything. Leslie has been fighting the thought that The Big Sister changed completely. But it was months already after the Big Sister's birthday and yet, she's still mad at the whole world, I guess.

Here are the scenarios:

1. Big Sister always sees mistakes. Even the smallest mistake. And NO, I am not over reacting.

2. Big Sister is always mad.

3. Always not in the mood.

4. Has little time for laughs.

5. When the Big Sister is mad at what you did, she'd call you, e-mail you and even go to your place just to let you know of that mistake you did. Poor, Leslie.

6. You'll just be surprised when you see her at your back watching you whatever you are doing on your PC. That is just CREEPY! Good thing Leslie doesn't do anything unacceptable in front of the PC.

7. When Big Sister was awarded some kind of reward for being able to do more than what is required of her, employees started calling Leslie and congratulated her. Leslie asked them why. And here are their answer: " Your boss won't be able to pull that off if you did not contribute to her work. Your boss reflects how you are as well, and vice versa.." and yes, Big Sister never acknowledged Leslie.

Those are just few of the creepy, irritating experiences of Leslie with The Big Sister. When everyone else from the office tries to read the Big Sister's actions and thinkings, Leslie would just say.. "DON'T READ HER, EXPERIENCE HER."

LAST QUARTER OF 2010

I'm kind of sleepy now, and if I am to write my LAST QUARTER of 2010, I would really be tired by then (this is my only time to update). So many things happened. So many stressful events, and yet, here I am. Better. :) Here are random pictures of how my 2010 ended. Just few of the many events that happened.

11.13.2010 - Reunited with FRG (First Row Girls).

Our bonding has been solid for the last 6 years. They are my best medicine :)

10.31.2010 - Went home to Pangasinan with my cousins.

11.01.2010 - A picture with my 87 yrs. old Lola Epay.

She's still healthy and smiling.

No diabetes, no high blood. No anything :))

11.16.2010 - Random food trip at Ruins, BF.

I just invited Fran because I was so stressed!

11.21.2010 - My first wicked KFC Double Down,

right after the ANIMO RUN-

which by the way is my very first 5KM Run.

11.29.2010 - St. James Bazaar, Alabang.

Christmas Shopping!

12.06.2010 - My first FOSSIL watch (the transparent acrylic one).

I really wanted to have this watch,

but just couldn't afford to buy one. And I finally did :) Yey!

Random Date - Lights and Sounds at Ayala Triangle.

This never failed to WOW people. Even I. :))

12.01.2010 Nike Club Run Manila 5k :)

12.09.2010 - BFS Christmas Party. All the hardwork paid off :)

Was part of the committee and the event turned out great.

No, it was awesome! :))

From Left to Right: Kevin, I, Mitch, Millet, Ms. Lany and Espie

12.17.2010 - UST PASKUHAN. My 5th :))

Always a PROUD THOMASIAN.

Fireworks = AWESOME = GREAT = LOVELY = THE BEST! :))

Forgive me for the pictures. Most came from my December of last year events. Not much from October. Our PC was broken, so my pictures were erased :( But it's all good.

I am really hoping for a better and rocking 2011! :) You have got to help me make this year the best one for us :))

The LOVE for RUNNING

I didn't think I'll be fond of running. It's my new way on de-stressing, and it's effective, at least for me. I had my 4th run just this morning. wow! I had been running 5KM for 4 times now. My first was Animo Run (November, 2010), then Nike Run (December, 2010), Bull Run (January 2011) and just today, Greentennial Run (January 23, 2011).

I love the feeling of being tired and sweaty. I love hearing my breathing pattern. I love the fact that I can conquer 5KM. But it's not all running, of course we have to be sensitive of our body's needs, we need to catch our breathe every once in a while.

Running is like being able to feel the air and feel good about what you do at that moment. It's like even when you are all caught up with your breathing, and aching muscles, you know it's all worth it at the end. It's like saying: HINDI KO AKALAING MATATAPOS KO PERO NATAPOS KO! AND IT FEELS SO SATISFYING! (I thought I wouldn't make it at the end, but I did!)

This love for running is new for me. And I don't care if i'll be able to continue running, but right at this very moment - it's what I love to do. The experience is worth it! Plus being with your closest friends at the end of each and every race is priceless. Yes, that goes for my loves: Trixia Ann Del Rosario and Frances Rose Sta. Barbara. It's great to have friends whom you have common interests. What I love to do, they love it too. Oh, LIFE. Thank you, Lord.

Trixia, Me, and Fran after Nike Run 5KM

ISSUES

I have a lot of issues with myself, and with people around me. Forgive me if I always post frustrations in here. Still in the office, and a lot happened within one week. One month actually.

1. How can you say that you are effective? -I don't know anymore. I thought I am, but I was wrong. I kept on challenging myself but it seems that I haven't got anything out of what I do. I am tired, stressed, frustrated, burnout, sad?, alone? okay.. that is another story.

2. How do you know if a guy is a guy or a gay? -haha but... okay. Whatev.

3. How do you know if a person is sincere? -met someone in FB. He is okay. I am trying to get to know him but, I still like someone else. :( Im stupid, I KNOW.

I just want to go home. Im tired tired and tired already. Still have a lot of pending works :( I just don't know how to deal with them anymore.

President Benigno Aquino III - 15th President of the Philippines

Image from earthlingorgeous (Flickr)

First, AWESOME speech! I have always wanted a Philippine President's speech in TAGALOG- wherein EVERY FILIPINO will understand each word, or just to get a hint of what the speech is about. Aside from it is in tagalog, it has everything in it, vague yet detailed. I love the fact that he emphasized that it is not just HE (PNoy) who will have to make the difference. It is each and every Filipino's responsibility to make a change and change and catch the anomalies of our corrupt government.

I JUST LOVE EACH WORD HE SAID. I am proud I voted for him. I just really hope he won't let me and the millions of people who now trust him, down. This is like a new hope for us. A new phase. We'll start all over again, but this time, with someone who has clean hands to guide us. Someone with pure heart, someone destined to lead the country for the better, for the best. At least he is the perfect start of change... in our CORRUPT SYSTEM.

I am proud of our President. I am looking forward for the next 6 years. I am excited not because of how cool PNoy is, but because, I am encouraged to speak out when I see something wrong in our Government System. Everyone LIKES PNoy.

I had the experience of someone voting for Gibo (I have nothing against him, If I am not for Noy, he is my 2nd choice), she said all the bad stuff I could hear about Noy. That he's overrated, lacks experience, not even that smart, always behind the shadow of his parents and her sister, Kris etc. What the hell? She even criticized people voting for him, that we don't know who we are voting and we just follow the trend.. because he is the likeable one. WHATEVER. Just ignored her. I just hope criticisms about the inauguration will all be good. All positive. But I know, people will still look for flaws-that, I don't and won't ever understand. Why don't they just shut up and promote the goodness the inauguration will effect. Anyway...

I hope for the next 6 years to be better, if not great, at least better from the previous years. Let this be a start of a good change, an example for other dirty politicians out there. A standard for the next terms. Amen to that!

The requirement of CHANGE:

- ADJUSTMENT -

I think I will just forever be adjusting to changes.

It sucks to know that your plans with close friends were already materialized, you're just not in the picture anymore. At least THOSE PLANS happened- for them. Good to know. Great.

FRUSTRATED!

Had a good week. Had a lot of things to do and buy. Crap!-that's how I feel. Am i being too impatient, it's not like I can do something right away to make everything happen.

HERE'S A LIST OF THE THINGS I AM DYING TO DO:

1.) I've been dying to go to different places. I am dying to see PALAWAN and BOHOL. Then Malaysia and Taiwan. Then Australia and Greece. :(

2.) I've been dying to study Photography, buy a damn good camera, an SLR perhaps.

3.) I've been dying to get back to DANCING. I miss dancing. I miss wearing my old sweaty pants and shirts. I miss carelessly dancing, swaying, pumping to a beat. Damn I miss dancing!!

4.) I've been dying to enroll for Capoeira. I've been dying to learn those smooth yet fierce movements.

5.) I've been dying to play Tennis. Had a tennis racket once, but I never dared to use it until someone who is i guess more interested in playing tennis asked it from me. :( Grr!

6.) I've been dying to continue my studies. I've been dying to study, again.

7.) I've been dying to eat in Greenbelt's Restaurants. I want to try all the restaurants there. GRRR!!

8.) I've been dying to buy a new phone. My current phone might go to heaven anytime now.

9.) I've been dying to get my BACKPAY in my previous employer. It has been 4 months!!

See how frustrated I am??? :(

Why do we need to put limit in everything we've been dying to do???

Ah, yes, I remember. I DON'T HAVE FREAKIN' MONEY to all these "TO DIE FOR" things.

CRAP!!

Oh God, Please make me understand the schedule you gave me. I can't seem to understand nor feel the exact time on when I could do these things. Please help me be patient.

RAINY SEASON

Thanks to Di Licop for reminding me of my outdated blog :)

4 months in my new employer and I have been stressed already. Stressed in a good way. Stressed because I am exposed to a lot of work and experiences and learnings. Stressed and HAPPY at the same time. 4 months and I am comfortable already, although still a little bugged out because of some issues in the office, but it's all part of the experience.

I have a boss who is OVER COMPULSIVE, she notices the kind of paper I use, the way I staple papers, the way I type and the way I analyze at MS EXCEL. At start, things are too awkward, but as weeks passed by, I became used to her ways and even appreciates her more. There are just different kinds of LEADERS in this world. I'll just have to learn from each of them and try to apply the traits I know will help me become effective. I thank her, my present boss because she lets me experience things I should know and learn. I am thankful because she teaches me things and at the same time shows effort in befriending us, her staff. -Well, that's my side of the story. However, there will still be people who thinks they are competent enough and better than anyone else. There will always be people who will put you down no matter what. There will always be people who will let things miserable for you. Anyway, let them be. They have their own story, mine is just a little way better then them. At least I know where I stand, how I do things..-I know just how I am.

In the office, there will be people who will help and teach you. And then there are also people who unconsciously teaches you exactly the things you SHOULDN'T DO which she does by the way- and she even thinks she's better. Oh well, they are already part of this world, so we will just have to deal with them, and as ironic as it sounds, learn from them too.

Yesterday, I have a scheduled recruitment. The original plan was just to have the applicants initially interviewed by me and then pass to the HR Manager. But, due to some unexpected circumstances, I was left there, alone. I WAS ALONE for the first time. I did our recruitment alone. Without someone's guide, without someone's help. But I did managed it smoothly. AND I AM PROUD.

Recruitment is fun, you get to meet different kinds of people. You get to learn from them. And some applicants are just the craziest ones, you couldn't imagine. :) haha anyway, at least I did something without anyone's guide nor help. Only proves that I can do anything as long as I have my will on it.

Going back to my previous post -about being left single. haha STUPID! I just let it passed. They are on their own now, and I should also be now. A friend told me, "Maybe it's about time you get to know other people, not just the ones you have and know right now."

I like the idea of it, that my own dilemma turned into opportunity. Plus the fun of knowing new people, it's just great.

Work, old friends, new friends, family- Wow! All of them, I LOVE. I am getting better at life don't you think? We should all be :) Life is just the way it is, we'll just have to go with the flow. Life, as we all know it.. goes on and on and on :)

WOW! :)

Click on the link, perfect! Exactly what I need :)

SAFE

Freindster is not safe.
Plurk is not safe too.
Multiply is not safe as well.
Facebook is already a dangerous site already.

But you, my blogspot.. is the safest. Thank you!

People will not bother reading you joyceturtle, only people who truly cares. So thank you! I really am. :)

Finally

Good evening!

I finally found a perfect time to blog. It's 10:00 PM. I'm sick. I'm sad. I'm having a too normal but unusual day. Finished work. Received a number of texts, and that's it. That is how my day went. Sad and weird, right? I know.

For the past months: January, February, March.. I've been through a lot.
Finally decided to quit my very first job after 8 months.
Finally found a better company.
And now, I'm finally stable.. at least on the work aspect. Don't ask about the financial aspect, I guess I will forever struggle on that part. I thought everything is going well. I was having fun. Finally meeting new people and keeping the old ones.
Finally learning different aspects of the work I chose.

Finally. That's all I can say. I was having fun! With people I chose to stay in my life. Well, that's what I thought.

I am feeling sad for the same reasons I have before. I want to talk to people about it, but they are just to happy for me to spoil their day. I guess I decided to stay away from the people for the mean time. I want to establish new relationships just so I can forget the very reason I am sad. I know it is shallow. But in times like these? I JUST DON'T CARE. I AM SAD. AND, I WANT TO BE ALONE. And people, my friends, are unintentionally granting my wish. I don't know if I'm thankful or not. But just the same, I'll start telling my side.

I have not been in good terms with some people. I thought, I'm too happy to care. I guess I was wrong. But, that's a different story, and not worth blogging so, I'll stop there.

I have very few friends that I can just hang out and be unbelievably comfortable with. And these are the people I AM SO SCARED TO LOSE. These are the people I can stick with and I know they will stick with me too. Through thick and thin. But these are also the people I really want to be happy, and the people that could really bring my mood down. OKAY. FINE. Just to get this over with.. I AM THE ONLY SINGLE LEFT. TRUE. SAD.

But, I am happy. I really am. PROUD AND HAPPY are the two words I would really be just to describe my reaction everytime I hear news as happy as "MY BESTFRIEND got a BOYFRIEND!"
Yeah! I can't really keep emotions, and my reactions are just too obvious so I can't hide that fact. But the sad thing is, at the end of the day, week, month, year.. It all boils down to just one sentence, a fact- I AM NOW OFFICIALLY LEFT, SINGLE.

I may not care after such time, but it's a cycle, I will still end up pitying myself and wondering, WHY? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME? DO I HAVE A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE OR SOMETHING? Anyway, that's it. MY BESTFRIENDS, TWO OF MY BESTFRIENDS in College ended up together. My other bestrfriend in High School, found her partner as well, her first. And my close friend, also in High School, is finally dating someone right now. And what is left in my portrait, is me, left alone but is happy for them.

It may sound a bit insecure and envious, but no. I'm just sad with the fact that my FRIENDS can finally say that at least they are done with their searching part, they can go on with their life with someone supporting them, with a partner. And I am still here, although not searching, but waiting, it adds up to my worries I guess.

So, just to give myself a little favor.. I will try to get disconnected for a while and rediscover things about me, first.

Reality bites. But we still have different perception of reality, and MINE SUCKS.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (A late greeting)

My 2009 has ended, and so with everyone else’s. Here is a run down of my 2009 events:

We finished our thesis. Yes! We did (with Jennifer Castro and Dawna Lagonoy). It was a fun, learning, frustrating and meaningful experience. It was not just about finishing our thesis, but it was more of the process that we went through while making our thesis. I mean, the experience and the people and our advisers and our faith to each one. I learned a lot and so did the whole Behavioral Science Batch 2009 of UST AB. It is not about the high grades we got, it is just an accessory. But it is more of the support you get from people, their concern and help. Wow! We were one. We are BES!

Our OSP (Office System Procedure), is also one of my 2009’s highlights. It was not like our Training (me and my group’s unforgettable event), though it was more of a research than application, I still learned and I had fun, but of course, it wouldn’t be possible if it’s not because of my group mates (Jen, AJ, Den, Dawna, Stella, July and Jerico – we call ourselves THE STRIKERS).

Next in my list is THE BACCALAUREATE MASS. I haven’t been in any baccalaureate mass, BUT UST’S is JUST WAY INSANE AND MEANINGFUL AND SOLEMN! THE BEST IF I MAY JUST ADD. It’s a way of saying GOODBYE to college years and hello REAL WORLD. It’s a way of saying that all our struggles and frustrations are worth it, are priceless, are our investment and we don’t know it at that time yet, and the MASS is a way of acknowledging them, a remembrance. And we GRADUATES are worthy of the name THOMASIANS. Yes, that mass is unforgettable.

THE GRADUATION. My most anticipated event. My goal, our goal. I couldn’t even express how proud I am at that time, the time when I was standing in front of the rest of the graduates, posing and smiling. I was not even thinking of my picture or shot that was being taken at that time. I didn’t care. I was smiling and posing for my parents, making them proud because I was finally standing right in front of everyone, in front of them. I can feel how thankful they are, I can feel their joy because finally, after financial, spiritual and emotional struggle that we experienced, I AM FINALLY WEARING A TOGA, SMILING and POSING not because I know it’s such a picture, but because finally, it’s PAYBACK time. I am paying them back for everything. Finally, I can work and do anything I want to. Finally! For them, I graduated.

My very first interview. I had my very first interview the day after my graduation. I was excited and nervous. The interview was okay, I passed the first interview and already scheduled for the next one. But it was after my first interview when I realized, it was just too soon. Am I really ready? I was scared of being able to get the job. I don’t think I am ready enough for my first job just right after graduation. So I became a coward and didn’t attend the next interview, although the offer is good, the job is in HR, I just don’t see myself working everyday in that company. Or it is just an excuse that I am not ready at all.

My FIRST JOB. After a number of exams and interviews, I landed in a job that was first, exciting then went to frustrating, and then stressful and now, depressing. I wouldn’t elaborate it anymore for it will be a long one and I will just have to put it in a separate entry.

So yes, these are just the highlights of my 2009. It was long year for me. 2009 is a little bit of everything all rolled in to one year. Although my prayer hasn’t been answered, I know God has a plan and he has every intention of making me a better person each year for me to be ready for that particular prayer. AND I AM THANKFUL for that. THANK YOU LORD!

So, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Although late, it is my sincere greeting and a way of saying, 2009 is worth remembering, and 2010 is another chance to make everything better!

Feeling Stagnant

It has been a long, long time since I last updated this blog. Many things happened. I can say some were bad, some were good. But what I can conclude is that, ALL THINGS THAT HAPPENED has reasons and taught me lessons that perhaps I will never learn nor encounter unless I experienced it first hand. I am still learning and struggling to understand. Like what my New Year resolution is: I GOT TO HAVE A NEW PERSPECTIVE! I had been out of my comfort zone, and I don't have any plans yet on changing that. But, I have every plan of making it better.

I have been struggling these past 6 months in my work and with my bosses. I had lost all the inspiration I once gathered for this. Until now, that is. I thought I actually learned, I thought I was better, I thought I can manage. Everything that I thought I had, vanished in one second. Okay, at least maybe thrice.

Career wise, I have been doubting if this is what I really want. Workload is too much. 80% of my time and work go to Administrative matters while only 20%, I don't know, maybe less, is alloted for HR matters. And HR is my chosen career. And they, my bosses don't seem to bother. For several times, I thought maybe I could last here for a year or maybe more because I am in a growing company and I might as well grow with the company. But, having HR as my chosen field, I don't seem to stand a chance in developing my HR knowledge. Although, I am very much challenged in my work. I am still focused on HR matters. I believe, and I am firm and confident about it, that I surpassed the challenge of being just a skilled employee. I am not keen to details before I started working, but now, I am quite strict to even the smallest detail.

I am still but a kid, I know. But I think I am ready and very confident in my decision. I am to resign now. And I know a lot of people already judged me for this. But I don't know. I am just happy I am resigning. I maybe anxious, but because I already built relationships with other co-workers in the company I am in. I will miss them. I will miss someone. They have taught me a lot of things, and I will forever remember them. I thank them for everything. I am resigning but I know this is for the better. This is for me. Let me share something I have read:

"Fight for what you believe in without trying to prove anything to anyone; maintain the same silent calm of someone who had had the courage to choose his own destiny. This applies to both love and war." -The Art of the Sword (Like the Flowing River by Paulo Coelho)

So yes, I may still be a child, but I am ready. I am looking for something I am yet to find. And that is my goal in this journey. It's for the better. For the best.

A MESSAGE FROM ME TO ME

Hi Joyce :) It's a lonely Friday don't you think? Oh well, I might as well try to make it even simpler. GO STRAIGHT HOME JOYCE! Don't be tempted.. please.. KEEP IN MIND: NO MONEY ANYMORE. haha That's a good start. You had a good week. Not great, but GOOD. That means you have to be better to be able to have a better week in the coming weeks and months. Yes! MONTHS! that means you'll be suspending, canceling and terminate the idea of resigning. Because as much as I want to believe there is more things out there than here? You'll have to discover the good things in here first. And try to not think of negative thoughts and things and characters and how bad the "b***" and how lonely work is here. Yes! Enough of those. Those things, those negative things, will just make you crazy! And having this message sent to me, myself, is enough reason I AM LITERALLY GOING CRAZY. So, end the week nice. The inspiration guy does not exist anymore. So believe me that to be able to have an inspiration again, doesn't simply mean you'll be dependent to a "someone" or to a "somebody" to be able to inspire yourself, although there is no question here that THAT GUY makes you a bit happy and smiling -enough to keep you energized for the day. So, time to go. I really hope I'll be enlightened from all these negative things around me. So CRAZY JOYCE, the CRAZY HR/Admin Assistant of (COMPANY NAME) should now go home and rest and smile for the week that had passed is good, remember, not great, but good!

:)) *SMILE*

Let go of your WHEEL

Just when I thought I'm being so indecisive, messages from different people come flooding in, texts, calls, YM messages, you name it. And I'm just so happy that these messages came just in the nick of time, just when I really needed it. Let me share some of the messages my friends (close and not close to me) sent me. Some were just group messages, but they are just really of PERFECT TIMING. It's like, these messages, or quotes if I may say, answered my doubts. God really has plans! And sometimes, His plans are difficult to find out. But if you have faith and you are very keen, you'll notice it. There is no definite sign or anything, you'll just know.

This I got from Nas Balajadia, when I was just so torn between the concrete plans I have made, and the sudden, unexpected, even unwanted opportunity. Here it goes:

I believe we write our own stories. And each time we think we know the end-- we don't. Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, world of chance, and in peace that comes from knowing that you just can't know it all. Life's funny that way. Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong.--that hit me right there.

Then after accepting that I don't know it all (not even my future, and even if I know that I don't know everything), I got my very first job. And on my first day, I was so worked out and worried if I could meet the company's and bosses' standards and expectations, I was so worried of making a mistake (but of course, it's given, I always make mistakes, we all do). I admit that I am having a hard time handling even simple administrative tasks and I won't even make excuses anymore. Later that day, I received a text from Krystal Alforte, my High School friend that says:

Nothing starts easy. Everything begins at some level of difficulty. Even waking up requires certain efforts. But one thing beautiful about life is the fact that what is most difficult is also the most rewarding and the most satisfying.

So, here I am, now at my 2nd day of work. I know that there is still a lot ahead. But, this is my present, the most important thing we have to deal with --not the past, not even the future. What we have is the present, and right now, I am working on it, my present.