Feeling Stagnant

It has been a long, long time since I last updated this blog. Many things happened. I can say some were bad, some were good. But what I can conclude is that, ALL THINGS THAT HAPPENED has reasons and taught me lessons that perhaps I will never learn nor encounter unless I experienced it first hand. I am still learning and struggling to understand. Like what my New Year resolution is: I GOT TO HAVE A NEW PERSPECTIVE! I had been out of my comfort zone, and I don't have any plans yet on changing that. But, I have every plan of making it better.

I have been struggling these past 6 months in my work and with my bosses. I had lost all the inspiration I once gathered for this. Until now, that is. I thought I actually learned, I thought I was better, I thought I can manage. Everything that I thought I had, vanished in one second. Okay, at least maybe thrice.

Career wise, I have been doubting if this is what I really want. Workload is too much. 80% of my time and work go to Administrative matters while only 20%, I don't know, maybe less, is alloted for HR matters. And HR is my chosen career. And they, my bosses don't seem to bother. For several times, I thought maybe I could last here for a year or maybe more because I am in a growing company and I might as well grow with the company. But, having HR as my chosen field, I don't seem to stand a chance in developing my HR knowledge. Although, I am very much challenged in my work. I am still focused on HR matters. I believe, and I am firm and confident about it, that I surpassed the challenge of being just a skilled employee. I am not keen to details before I started working, but now, I am quite strict to even the smallest detail.

I am still but a kid, I know. But I think I am ready and very confident in my decision. I am to resign now. And I know a lot of people already judged me for this. But I don't know. I am just happy I am resigning. I maybe anxious, but because I already built relationships with other co-workers in the company I am in. I will miss them. I will miss someone. They have taught me a lot of things, and I will forever remember them. I thank them for everything. I am resigning but I know this is for the better. This is for me. Let me share something I have read:

"Fight for what you believe in without trying to prove anything to anyone; maintain the same silent calm of someone who had had the courage to choose his own destiny. This applies to both love and war." -The Art of the Sword (Like the Flowing River by Paulo Coelho)

So yes, I may still be a child, but I am ready. I am looking for something I am yet to find. And that is my goal in this journey. It's for the better. For the best.